The Direction of Intention

“The past is a bucket of ashes.” ~ Carl Sandburg

And who hasn’t committed an old journal or letters from an ex to the fire? Fire is known for cleansing the past.

How many times in my life have I scribbled a wish on a small slip of paper and touched the paper to flame, watching as my wish released into the wind of things-to-come? Fire is known for facilitating future renewal. A Phoenix rises from the ashes.

We hit the trail to debrief the day and walk ourselves to clarity. We didn’t know ahead of time that the parks service was eradicating an invasive species. They had just completed a controlled burn. Sections of the path wound through smoldering ash. Crews walked the wreckage spraying water on stubborn flames.

It was as if the outer geography of our walk mirrored the inner landscape of our conversation. Our debrief of the day necessarily wound through the ashes of our past. It was as if we were the crew wandering through the smoldering debris extinguishing the last bits of obstinate smoky memory. Cleansing the past. Eradicating the invasive. Creating space for renewal.

And who hasn’t wanted to go back in time and make a different choice? “If I knew then what I know now.” Sometimes I feel as if time is a slow burn and I am the small slip of paper. A long ago version of me released a hope into the wind and, for better or worse, I am the fulfillment of that wish.

Knowing what I know now, would I go back in time, make a different choice, and change everything that led to this moment? Would I now wish to have lived a different life? Not a chance. That’s why we wander through the ashes of our past dousing the harsh judgment we have for too long carried. It is why we revisit the long memory trail marked by difficult choices and see-at-last the necessity of living those hard lessons and making those mistakes. All were necessary for arriving at this place, the here-and-now, this moment is the Phoenix rising from the ashes.

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read Kerri’s blogpost about THE BURN

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