“But what you believe about the future will change how you live in the present.” ~ Daniel Nayeri, Everything Sad Is Untrue*
I am a harsh critic of myself. When lost in thought and reviewing my past choices I rarely extend the grace to myself that I easily extend to others. I can’t catch a break. Who hired this guy? It’s just my luck to get assigned the one inner-editor without a sense of humor or a shred of humanity.
I was deep in my self-flaw-review when we rounded the bend and left the cool shade of the trees. “Whoa!” she said. In the fall, there is a dramatic difference in temperature from shade to sun. She stopped abruptly and turned back. On the left side of the trail was a single dandelion. “The last one!” she exclaimed, already framing her shot. A dandelion survivor. A brilliant pop of yellow against the green.
I adore these moments of spontaneous enthusiasm for the tiniest reason. This one served to completely lighten my inner discord. Like Daedalus with wings, her dandelion-eagerness was contagious and lifted me from my maze of dark reflection.
Yellow is joy. It is optimism. Even Van Gogh knew that the source of this vibrant yellow was courtesy of the sun. It dope-slapped my critic. Not a polite slap but a resounding, hard, “Whap!” Enough already. Drink the joy of this enthusiasm. Revel in this tiny gift from the sun.
I breathed a sigh of relief having just escaped the Minotaur of my own mind. In these moments of flight-to-the-present I know the dark memory maze is only a shadow-creation, barely more substantial than fantasy. Judgment from afar is only loosely rooted in actual events.
I am equally capable of filling the sad chronicle with sunny yellow. Most of my bad choices, in retrospect, turned out to be excellent decisions in the long run. I suppose it all depends upon where I decide to focus, where I think the story ends.
This memory, this moment, I focus on the sun, the warmth, and the gratitude for walking a path that brought me to unbridled enthusiasm for an autumn dandelion.
I learn again and again something that is also true: what you believe about your past will change how you live in the present.
***
*read this book. It is awesome.
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read Kerri’s blogpost about THE DANDELION
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Filed under: Flawed Wednesday, Identity, Uncategorized | Tagged: artistry, choices, david robinson, davidrobinsoncreative.com, enthusiasm, Gratitude, joy, Kerri Sherwood, kerri sherwood itunes, kerrianddavid.com, kerrisherwood.com, reflection, story, studio melange, the melange |
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