Vis-À-Vis The ♡ [David’s blog on Merely A Thought Monday]

In relation to the heart. In regard to the heart. Be careful! This heart of mine is made of soft tissue.

“Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves…” Advice from Rainer Maria Rilke. I find that it is much wiser to take the advice of poets rather than the counsel of politicians. Poets seek truth beyond words. Politicians often use words to obscure truth.

With so much unsolved in my heart I have spent my lifetime developing a love of questions. The same is probably true for you. I admit that there are days that I tire of loving the question and shake my fist at the sky, crying, “For once just give me a goddamn answer!”

Those fist-shaking moments always result in silence-from-the-sky, which inevitably leads to a question, “Is it so hard to give me an answer or guidance or direction?” You gotta love that question!

I’ve noticed that the sky never answers immediately. It takes its sweet time. However, in time, sometimes after years of holding a question, the symphony resolves. A path opens. Or closes. An answer arrives, usually following a surrender.

“Our heart always transcends us.” There he goes again. Rilke. And just what does it mean that our heart always transcends us? It’s a good question. I imagine it will remain unanswered so it’s best not to ponder it too much. Pick it up, give it some love and carry on.

read Kerri’s blog post about VISÀVIS

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Today [saturday morning smack-dab]

Just Right [David’s blog on KS Friday]

Melange Wardrobe Fun Facts:

#1. We don’t consider our jeans broken-in until they have holes.

#2. On the day we met we both chose to wear non-holey jeans. We didn’t want to scare the other person away. Everything else, the boots, the blacks sweater…it was as if we called each other to coordinate.

#3. We were married in jeans that had holes. We were beyond the appearance phase of our relationship. The truth – our truth – has holes-in-the-knees. In fact, much of our wedding prep involved a world-wide search to find the perfect pair of new holey jeans. Holy jeans.

#4. For reasons I can’t explain, a hole always forms in the right knee of my brand new non-holey jeans. Always the right knee. Kerri, on the other hand, rarely achieves naturally holey jeans so she has to search for her truth. Mine always finds me.

#5. An anecdote: An elderly man in a maga hat stopped Kerri in the grocery store. “You must have a cat?” he sneered.

She was polite. “I used to have a cat,” she said, playing along. “How can you tell?”

“You need new pants,” he crowed his punchline. She acted like his joke was funny and the holes in her jeans were a complete surprise. The old man, feeling clever, repeated his joke to other shoppers. “Look at her pants! She must have a cat!”

#6. A common question in our house as we prepare to go out: “Do you think it’s okay to wear these?” A common answer to a common question: “Of course. Why not?” A common response to a common answer to a common question: “I guess I should wear what I want to wear.” I suppose there are holes in the fabric of acceptance that must always be considered.

We enact this ritual almost every day and always arrive at the same conclusion. The holes are in self-acceptance. Memories of Quinn always fill the holes for me. I hear his good laughter: “There are 6 billion people on the planet and you’re the only one who cares what you think.”

Now there are over 8 billion people on the planet and I am eternally grateful that there is one other person on this earth who cares what I feel and think and wear. This grand old universe knows how to coordinate.

And the shirt above the jeans with holes? A black thermal. Always. Oversized for her. Just right for me.

Just right for me.

***

Happy Birthday, my love!

on the album AS SURE AS THE SUN © 2002 Kerri Sherwood

Kerri’s albums are available on iTunes and streaming on Pandora

read Kerri’s blogpost about HOLES IN JEANS

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Time To Linger [David’s blog on DR Thursday]

These days Dogga rarely bursts out of the house to clear the yard of marauding squirrels and trespassing birds. Now he lopes out the backdoor, stands at the end of the deck, finds a good cool spot, lays down and surveys his vast territory. We tease that he is doing what my dad, Columbus, did in his final chapter. He sat in the shade and thought his thoughts.

The thimbleweed along the trail reminds me of cotton. The pods usually release their seeds in the fall but sometimes they hang on through the winter. I wonder if these seeds have missed their moment. They hung on too long. Is this puffy white cluster a failure to launch or are these the seeds of an older plant that no longer needs to toss wild dreams into the future? Perhaps it is time to linger.

Yesterday was a particularly nasty day outside. We binge-watched an entire season of Virgin River. One of the characters, in a moment of crisis, realized that she was trying very hard to hang onto an identity – a version of herself – that was no longer relevant. Life had stripped away a layer of her mask. She needed to let go. I completely understood her revelation. Old dreams need not fly from the pod in search of fertile ground. Sometimes old dreams are just that: old. Letting go makes space for new dreams and new questions. It clears space for Now. There is certainly no end to life’s questions.

We had a rare day of sun. We bagged all of our plans, pulled out our chairs and basked. In truth, our decision to sit in the sun was about Dogga. Rather than leave and explore the world, we chose to sit in the sun with him. His favorite thing to do is hang out with us. There is no end to our questions but there is absolute clarity in our priorities. How long will we have him with us? We don’t really know. What we do know is that there is nothing more important than surveying vast territory with him. We would regret forever if we lost ourselves in the pursuit of old dreams and missed this moment, this time to linger with him.

read Kerri’s blogpost about THIMBLEWEED

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What It’s Made Of [David’s blog on Not So Flawed Wednesday]

I had to ask. What is a Peep made of? The main ingredient is sugar (no surprise). Corn syrup is the second ingredient and I read it provides sweetness and texture. Evidently there’s a lack of sweetness with so much sugar so corn syrup takes up the slack. Rounding out the top three ingredients is gelatin which gives the peep its bunny and baby chick shape. There’s wax for coating and potassium sorbate for freshness preservation. The Peep-particuilar color is due to food dye.

I am not a fan of Peeps but Beaky loved them. I am a fan of peanut M&M’s and therefore I refuse to read the ingredients. I don’t want to know.

Yesterday I wrote a harsh post about the willful blindness of the republican congress. And lest I leave the plank in my own eye while removing the speck from the peeper of congress, I thought I’d better confess my willful ignorance of the innards of an M&M. Where snacks are concerned I am quite capable of looking the other way. I don’t think I could or would consciously look the other way as the-arsonist-in-chief sets fire to the Constitution and burns down the nation. It’s one thing to eat a Peep in blissful ignorance. It’s another thing to knowingly consume the lies of a monster and enjoy it.

It is Easter season, the celebration of new life. The return of spring. The egg is an ancient symbol of new life so we dye them and hide them and delight in the hunt by children to find them. It is a ritual of renewal. A basket full of colorful hope. It is the season that Peeps and pastel candies rise in prominence in the grocery store. In my Easter egg hunt I am looking high and low for the resurrection of integrity, the adoration of humanity in all its wild and beautiful colors, the rebirth (or perhaps the first birth) of a fearless diverse nation unafraid of its history and dedicated to vibrant inclusivity. It is, after all – and in truth – what our nation is made of.

read Kerri’s blogpost about PEEPS.

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Ready For It [David’s blog on Two Artists Tuesday]

For a bit of context it’s important to note that last week we were pummeled by ferocious winds and freezing rain, followed hard upon by a blizzard and icy cold. And then, for a few days, the temperatures rose. Stepping out the front door we were surprised to find Day Lilies poking their tiny green fingers above the ground. How is that possible?

Yesterday, driving home from the trail, Kerri said, “It feels like spring is trying hard to punch through.” During our hike the sun was warm but the breeze still carried the winter cold. Not so long ago the winter cold was dominant but yesterday the spring sun definitely took the match.

“I’m ready for it,” I responded.

I sighed with relief when I saw the tender green Day Lilies break through. This winter’s siege has been metaphoric as well as actual. ICE. Epstein. A war of choice. Nonsense tariffs. The ugly return of 19th century imperialism, the whitewash of history, the eye-rolling invocation of the man-o-sphere and equally brain-numbing summons of the return-of-the-tradwife. An icy wind. A hard brain freeze. A fantasy fit for the stunted mentality of middle-school-bullies or white nationalists (same thing).

With the sun, sense is returning. Eyes dedicated to being closed are at last blinking open. Lies are fragmenting. Truth is breaking through the crusty soil and reaching for the warm air. It is a promise, a hope, that will one-day-soon blossom, a vibrant garden of veracity. The people have had enough of winter’s nonsense.

I don’t know about you but I am ready for it.

read Kerri’s blogpost about DAY LILIES

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Feigning Blindness [David’s blog on Merely A Thought Monday]

“Conscious avoidance, often termed “willful blindness,” is a legal doctrine where a person is held legally responsible as if they had actual knowledge of a fact because they deliberately avoided confirming it.” ~ AI

I was having some fun at the expense of the republicans-in-congress, imagining the endless fodder they inspire for cartoons. These self-proclaimed cowboys strut through the halls of government yet quake in their boots at the prospect of independent thought. They fear acting or speaking without first seeking permission from their authoritarian-wannabe. These pretend cowboys will not mount their horses without first seeking approval of El Taco.

It would be hysterical if it were not so destructive to our democracy.

Conscious avoidance is a term in criminal law: “It requires that the individual subjectively believed a high probability of illegal activity existed but took deliberate actions to avoid learning the truth.” If they were not protected by law it would be an easy-peasy no-brainer to prosecute the entire Grand Old Party for their conscious avoidance of the grift, their see-no-evil antics providing cover for The Epstein Class, for their “Deliberate Indifference” to the war crimes currently enacted by this administration.

There are many ways of defining conscious avoidance but my favorite is this: “Acting with “eyes wide shut” to avoid confirming a suspicious fact.” It’s yet another possible cartoon: the elephant , like an ostrich, buries its head in the sand.

And what about criminality beyond deliberate indifference? The sham otherwise known as The Save America Act is a prime example. They are doing more than willfully blinding themselves, they are holding the gun during the robbery. They are actively and specifically attempting to disenfranchise voters. They are no witnesses but are active participants. This is criminality beyond indifference. It is corruption. El Taco is in trouble and wants his coward-posse to stop the democracy train. Instead of rugged cowboys these republicans are cut from the same cloth as Barney Fife. Only, as Kerri just cautioned me, Barney Fife was harmless. These clowns are dangerous.

While they are busy feigning blindness to the obvious destruction, we will remind them with our votes and our protests that we see them clearly. As a democratic nation, as a community, we refuse to blind ourselves or look the other way.

read Kerri’s blogpost about CONSCIOUS AVOIDANCE

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After All, Capable [David’s blog on KS Friday]

Like many of the seemingly random pieces in our home, this wood garland carries a story. It is imbued with specific memories that invoke hope and belonging. This garland lifts our spirits.

A few nights ago, when sleep evaded me, having recently exhausted all of the hikers we follow, I stumbled upon someone new. I thought I was about to watch a documentary about a hiker’s journey on a long trail. Instead, I found the story of a man who perseveres. Twenty years ago he was diagnosed with an aggressive terminal cancer and given only a short time to live. His story is an unintentional wake-up call. He reminded me to check my attachments to the transitory.

Recognizing how uplifted I felt after watching the documentary was also a wake-up call, a lesson I learn again and again. I regularly fill myself up with the news of the day and it is, as you know, toxic. It’s like eating too much candy. There’s no spirit-nutritional-value and it always comes with a downer-crash. I decided I need a more balanced diet if I expected myself to be mentally, emotionally, and spiritually healthy.

During the power outage I revived a practice from my boyhood. I thought it would disappear after the lights and heat came back but I’ve continued it because it makes me feel good. I am drawing pictures from books. I sit at the little table beneath the hanging wood garland with my sketchbook and a large coffee table tome from The Metropolitan Museum of Art: Thirty Centuries of the Art of Mexico. Right now my sketches are pre-Columbian. Funerary figures and stone reliefs. It is not an accident that I sit beneath the garland. Occasionally I put down my pencils and examine the curious pieces of driftwood stacked and strung together. It reminds me, just as the art in the book, that people are dedicated to making beauty. People are dedicated to connecting to life-beyond-boundaries and they do it as they have always done it by carving figures imbued with magical powers meant to guard the passage of their loved ones through death – or by stringing together bits of driftwood found on a special beach.

People are more capable of invoking hope and belonging than hatred and division. We are not only capable, it is a necessity, an essential, like food and shelter. We can live without hatred but we cannot live without hope.

We are, after all, capable of supporting each other, of recognizing how impossible and precious are these few moments of life we share together. We are capable in dark times of standing in beauty and instilling hope, we are capable of simple-daily-generosity intended to lift each others’ spirits.

HOLDING ON/LETTING GO on the album RIGHT NOW © 2010 Kerri Sherwood

Kerri’s albums are available on iTunes and streaming on Pandora

read Kerri’s blogpost about THE GARLAND

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Ready To Drop [David’s blog on DR Thursday]

When Albert was discouraged about the state of humanity he’d say, “Just drop the bomb.” Although I haven’t seen him in years I heard myself whisper his discouragement-phrase this morning. How is it possible in a democracy that one of the major parties, after their gerrymander scheme backfired, would actually legislate to make it impossibly hard for citizens to vote? The news aptly reported, “It’s a solution looking for a problem.” Voter fraud is literally nonexistent in the USA. On the other hand fearmongering is alive and well. Lying has been elevated to an art form.

“They’ve lost the plot,” I murmured. “Just drop the bomb.”

That we are witnessing our government protect an international ring of pedophiles, bomb a nation to smithereens (kill people) without a reason, assault the once-free-press because they dare to report the news, isolate itself in a global economy (otherwise known as commit economic suicide), mountain-ize our national debt to give the morbidly-wealthy more wealth while simultaneously eliminating services and erecting obstacles for the citizenry, assault the very epicenter: our right to vote in a free and fair election…it begs the question: Did they ever really believed in government by, for, and of the people? This depth of depravity did not spring fully formed from the thigh of Zeus; it took decades of dedicated decomposition to achieve this degree of stink.

Last week, before the blizzard, before the power outage, before the impossibly bent power mast, the shattered roof shingles, the driving rain that found its way into the sun room, we sat in chairs on the patio and faced the setting sun. A rare day of warmth. We knew the storms were coming so we put off our work and banked some vitamin-D. The sun dropped behind the garage. It remained pleasant. In the waning light we ate dinner on the deck.

Those moments in the sun, the decision to delay work and take advantage of the precious warmth, gave us ample fuel to weather the cold and violent storm. It refilled our hope.

Albert’s famous phrase had an attachment. He’d follow “Just drop the bomb,” with, “We don’t deserve it.” When I asked him what he meant by “it”, he’d gesture, sweeping his arms in a wide arc. “All of it.” The beauty and majesty of life. The gift of each other.

After I heard myself utter, “Just drop the bomb,” I caught myself. “We do deserve it.” We deserve decency and honesty in our leaders. We not only deserve it but should expect it. We deserve media that does not whip up straw-men to intentionally divide us. We deserve a government that serves us rather than exploits us. They have, indeed, lost the plot.

Perhaps, as history suggests, we will survive this chapter when we recognize – when our government recognizes – that the people they are meant to serve ARE the bomb. They are in our sights and we are ready to drop.

We deserve better.

read Kerri’s blogpost about THE SETTING SUN

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Time Travel [David’s blog on Not So Flawed Wednesday]

During the recent power-outage we learned the obvious: most of the activities of our life require a plug and reliable power. We learned that our access to information and connection-to-others is also plug-dependent. We learned that the car is a great-and-necessary place to warm up while also recharging devices.

We also learned how the absence of plug-driven-life greatly impacts the pace of our day. Time is a slow-moving river when the power goes out. What do you do when a screen is not available to demand your full attention? Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate my technology as much as the next person. I would not be capable of writing if I had to type my fast-thoughts on a slow typewriter. I remember with horror the days of white-out and endless retyped revisions. Also, technology makes my vocabulary seem much more expansive than it really is. Do you remember flipping through a heavy Thesaurus to find a synonym? Do you remember how long it took to research a topic when the beginning point was a card catalogue or microfiche?

The power outage tossed us back in time.

We paced so I picked up my pencils and drew pictures in my sketchbook, much as I had done as a child. We lit candles when the sun set and spoke in candlelight tones. More than once we went outside and talked with our neighbors. They were out so we went out. We made sure the elderly neighbor across the street was safe. She made sure that we were safe. We returned to a time when conversation was face-to-face. The most important news was local and immediate. We entered a era when sunset was the cue to crawl into bed, when sunset meant a drop in already cold temperatures and the only warmth in the house was beneath a pile of quilts. Time seemed more expansive and not in short supply.

We relearned the feeling of wiling away the day. We reveled in the expansion of our attention span.

In the end, we enlivened our gratitude. When the power popped on moments before the blizzard, we cheered. The furnace kicked in. The lights extended day into night. We made dinner on the stove and it was hot! Simple things that go mostly unnoticed became opportunities for thanksgiving. For a few days until trust in the plug was restored we knew that we would take nothing for granted.

And with the restoration of the power time sped up. Our screens were alight, the information inundation and rapid media stream returned. We re-inhabited the era when the question at the end of each day is inevitably. “Where did this day go?”

read Kerri’s blogpost about THE CANDLE

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